[behavior blog] Dealing with a toxic person or an abusive person...

Unfortunately the human is a toxic being, so here are some smart ways to get around people's bad moods:
a) Try to be polite to the police - even though this can be thought provoking at times considering the bad experiences different people have had dealing with someone shouting in their face for whatever reason they deem necessary as our friends at - or someone with authority even when they sound like they are being arrogant, abusive and rude, they still have a right to give you a fine, which you can contest and disagree with in the Courts of Law. Court decisions vary from magistrates reprimanding police for breaches of procedure, "copy and paste" action which fall short of holistic investigation practices, and, a sloppy way of interpreting ethics, amidst other issues that are not worthy mentioning here. These were reported on independent newspapers such as The Malta Independent, and, Times of Malta, although there were allegations of financial scandals recently involving various persons including notorious managers within some of these newspapers. Bear in mind that the police conduct is one that can make you lose a job opportunity so it is good to protect your own interest by being as diplomatic and as polite as possible. You can claim retaliation but in Malta this claim is not very strongly supported by authorities, boards and committees as there is a very conservative and authority-centred structure within bureaucracy itself.

This is expected to be provided, but nonetheless nobody can force you to provide this information without your consent and even though conditions are stipulated in a sequential fashion you can still persist in your rightful position of a human rights activist, hoping not to suffer from retailation or bureaucracy. b) try not to break the rules, if you know you have a problem, let them know in advance it avoids surprises for some people particularly those who are low on emotional quotient or else have a different political or business agenda that does not necessarily include your well-being as their topmost priority. Managers tend to use management by objective abbreviated to MBO or MBR their main way of asking people to do their job, and, generally one should not take this personally, but understand that they have expectations, perhaps taking legal advice from workers' union in the process to cover your interests are being advocated. However on the other hand when an expectation cannot be met due to risks and problems, such issues are to be communicated diligently, at least to avoid leaving managers surprised of outcomes, and, also to keep an audit trail of the communication.
c) people are stressed and busy, they make errors of judgment, and, tend to ignore a lot of ideals, particularly when they are at the workplace where they are protected by a policy which covers their actions, powers and where they are regulated by procedures. We never know all of them and most of the time neither do they. For years I have worked with managers with short temperaments, and, managers who liken themselves to soccer managers in their performance management, then they called their boss to convince them to label people into performers and persons who perform less well, we are little beyond pigs on the production line in this contorted view of management. This is a reflection of Max Weber's theory underlying bureaucracy.
d) avoid trying to confuse them or extensive social engineering, most people realize you are trying to trick them as soon as you open your mouth. Reactions can vary from anger, to retaliation to disciplinary actions sometimes leading to dismissal on trivial grounds and with legitimacy due to flaws in employment regulations, to a simple word of caution, depending on the personality of the person, usually the more ego-centered they are they more aggressive they come across and the more they want to fight back and cause damage through politics. Some people will use all their influence or authority to make you look weak and bad, and, this form of bullying is not only found at the school unfortunately. One should seek to report such issues to bodies and authorities and to avoid confronting the person directly after providing them with a warning, preferably in writing and in diplomatic form, hoping for suitable arbitration prior to legal litigation. Mobbing is a problem commonly encountered at the workplace, but it is hard to manage every psychological issue without undergoing therapy and some managers just don't have the time to understand your personal grievances. It is time not to take it personally and to take the right decision about your life and your relationship with the people around you. Finally, if you go beyond your way and take a strict interpretation of a policy that was written unilaterally, and, influence the committees formed to uphold your accusation, then some form of abuse of authority might have been perceived to have occurred, although, by the procedure diligence was effectively carried out. Human behaviour is by far and large erratic, and, as a matter of fact a politician has categorized it as schizophrenic. It would appear that people who are more easily angered tend to attempt to control the behavior of others through discipline, as the driving management/leadership philosophy. A software engineer typically minimizes unwanted correspondence as "spam", whilst an executive appears to make a mountain out of a molehill to push her inethical disciplinary agenda, indicating that small office politics and politics in the wider context play a considerable role in decision making, making decisions made by humans questionable and falsifiable. Disclaimers are induced from the philosophy of minimalism, and this can lack fairness. Legal terminology around unsolicited or unwanted advertising can be used unfairly if you are a small fish trying to compete in a bigger pool of contractors, job-seekers, or other humans just hoping to win that competition, people can be very political in throwing mud at each other and very able in covering their legal responsibilities through renegation when questioned thus appearing to trick the judicial system in this manner, which should take the rights and duties of all parties involved in a disagreement, not just voice your concern as it aims to reach a legally valid reason for establishing a grave or serious breach of law, one that has had consequences, preferably ones that can be quantified as material damages in terms of legitimate currency if we were to resort to the lawyer asking for compensation. Cutajar (2000s) had discussed the Russian roulette effect, where managers appear to selectively pick their subjects of audits in a unilateral and collective fashion, thus giving rise to questions about groupthink and its bias as an error of judgment and appearing to come across as a group of people who arrogantly take decisions that influence the lives of others without appropriate consultation and participation, thus giving rise to the notion of organizational democracy becoming a necessity in the first quarter of 2000s when we should have learnt the lessons after years of colonialism, barbarism and other forms of pre-ponderance ironically coming from a minority group, which is probably paid a much higher wage than the average slave-employee-class is.
Bureaucracy through its unnatural way of making unilateral statements and decisions that affect the other stakeholders does give rise to another form of unfair negotiation, through the unnatural selection and judgment of the other human being, and, what gives us the legal right to form a judgment that can be considered to be discriminatory remains a valid philosophical argument on reasoning that favors objectivity, with an understanding of emotional bias, as an influencing factor, that is not necessarily reduced by elimination, although participation and dialogue are not necessarily always possible and realistic to achieve in every executive decision as there are time bound decisions to take, in our day to day operations.
Further reading at http://higherperspectives.com/toxic-people/ and at this link.
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